I can't be arsed.
A great piece Australian slang which means I can't be bothered. Now, it's an interesting phrase, but like many great slogans, the etymology of this one alludes me.
What I can't be bothered with is blogging. Every time I sit down, open up the page and begin typing, by the time I'm a couple of lines in I start to doubt the validity of my opinion, and feel that I must do research to actually have some basis for my arguments, and to me this sounds too much like work.
I suppose this is the result of many years at university, tirelessly slaving away in the library looking for that one author who has said everything I had before me so that my argument might have some academic foundation (because in academia originality is discouraged...). But the thing with blogging is, that if someone else has said it before me, why the hell should I go about spending all my time retyping and paraphrasing it for you.
At one stage I thought that I might try to actually make some money from my opinion, and that the advertisements which Google put on my blog would end up being some kind of long term investment. But like a corrupt politician I enlisted my friends to click on the adds at least 5 times a day in order to turn my blog into a job. Unfortunately, Google didn't get rich by paying morons like me to abuse their systems... So that dream for the blog died rather quickly.
I had hoped from the very beginning, that this blog would in some ways be a call to arms to the wider populace of the internet, calling for a new age of enlightenment, of civil and moral awareness. But what I realised shortly after was that people don't read blogs that force you to think, or more importantly force you to act.
The blog is the text based soap opera, and perhaps the problem is I don't watch enough soaps to be able to write in such a way that would appeal to the average internet user. And the people who read my blog (all five of you dedicated subscribers - whom I adore) aren't the ones I need to reach, because you are all like me and probably feel the same injustices I feel, and are aware of the same social issues that I'm aware of.
So, why should I bother writing, hell, why am I even bothering to write a blog about how little I care for blogging. It seems a little self serving to say the least. Well, I suppose that's the root of it. I began the blog because I wasn't happy with the world and wanted to do something about it, in order for it to fit my idea of how it should operate. Which is very selfish and completely unrealistic, regardless of how right I was. But isn't that what everyone does to some extent? Isn't that what makes man different from animals, in that we make the world to suit us rather than change to suit the world. Could it be that my selfishness is really just a manifestation of human evolution now affecting my psyche?
So I suppose, that although I may have had all these profound statements over the last year of blogging (or very few for that matter) I'm not actually that deep, or not as deep as I thought I was...
I can't be arsed with blogging, but I'll probably continue to be as infrequent a blogger as I ever have in the past... I guess at least going forward I wont be clouded with misguided ideas that my posts will actually have some form of dramatic impact on those who read them.
There is no moral today, there is no deep and meaningful message to take away from this entry. Just the tired rant of a pathetically hopeless blogger.
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