More than words...

"Sayin' I love you... Is not the words I want to hear from you..."



We all know the popular song written by Extreme in 1990, which is a love ballad that effectively say actions speak louder than words. In other words, sleep with me and I'll know you love me, because saying you love me isn't enough. Seems shallow doesn't it - at first you would think this the case. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, perhaps it was simply a charming and beautiful ballad to someones loved one - but the theme of actions speaking louder than words is present... But does that mean that the words being said have no meaning?

Sometimes...

I have a friend who likes to say, "I love you" all the time. Which at first was really special as we had a very close friendship. But then never returning calls or text messages, never making any effort to maintain the friendship, and discovering the wide group of people (i.e. work friends and other randoms) he uses this phrase removed all meaning from the vocal gesture, "I love you". He constantly attempted to affirm what sort of friendship we had, always saying how close we were whilst never attempting to back that up with actions or gestures.

All of a sudden the lyrics of More Than Words made sense and I felt cheated.

What made this situation worse was once I discovered how shallow and meaningless his gesture of loving friendship was, I found it difficult to reciprocate the same response which he expected, "I love you too". Normally this wouldn't be an issue as the affirming response would normally and naturally roll off the lips like a deep bellied exhale, but there was a stammer, and in that involuntary pause he would ask for the response to his plea. This not only made things awkward, but made me responsible of the same crime which I so abhorred.

Now this isn't some homosexual erotic love I'm talking about here, but more the loving or intimate bond which brothers and siblings share for one an other. The love a friend may have their closest inner circle. This was a brotherhood which was once founded upon strong familial emotion, a brotherhood which was now in tatters as the words lost their meaning, and he lost my trust due to the over use of this special, intimate phrase.

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Loss of meaning is something which is becoming more and more prevalent in today's society. More and more people are forgetting the power of their words - throwing around phrases like "I love you" and making them meaningless. But why would people do this? In the case of my friend, many of other people who he uses the phrase to have come to me with the conclusion that he is most probably more interested in the response than the emotive force behind his own words. Its a selfish, self serving "I love you", which really explains much about the lack of action to back up the claim...

But even then people aren't necessarily forgetting the power of words, but rather, a new stream of thinking has arisen in today's culture where people don't want to be controlled or defined by the language they use - so rather than changing their behaviour they abuse the language to the point where it no longer has meaning.

This lack in meaning has permeated all facets of modern life and leads to people throwing promises around without the intention of following through with them. One example of broken promises are those by politicians.

"I promise I will do this... I promise I will do that! And because I know everyone holds no value to the word "promise" any more I know I won't be held accountable when I don't live up to my WORD." 

We have been convinced in the modern era that a promise no longer means someone WILL complete something, but rather they would LIKE to. The word promise no longer evokes a feeling of belief, but one of hope - and to me this just feels wrong.

These morally uplifting examples of love and promise aren't the only types of words which have been sullied by modern expression and meaninglessness. The same goes for the more vulgar or offensive words which we use to express ourselves, and forgive the language when I give examples - cunt, fuck, shit; even words like race/racist/racism, black, retard[ed] - and the list can go on... We take away a words meaning so that it might not have any power over us any more. No longer can a word disgust or anger us - but isn't that ability to be moved and to feel the extent of our emotional range something which is intrinsic to being alive? Shouldn't words used in the context of an insult still hold that meaning so we know to be disgusted? The only purpose this can possibly serve is to desensitise us all to the atrocities, insults and tragedies that language describes.

I believe in the power of words, and language which we use them in, I am not defined by my use of words, but I use these words with full force to define the world in which I live. I allow language to have power over me, not because it controls me, because it evokes the correct rational and emotive responses in me. I am at the mercy of my language, and am passionate about holding words and people accountable to their meaning and worth.

Do I need to blog anymore?!?

Well the answer is hell yes!

But this isn't me having a whinge to you about not blogging for a while cos I don't really care how often you have to go without my complaining. This is almost an advertisement for a TV show which I stumbled upon.

Its by the illusionists Penn & Teller and its called "Bullshit".

I would go as far to say its much like my blog, but in video form which is why I asked if I need to blog any more. Penn & Teller take a mythbuster style approach to social issues. They tackle topics from Armageddon theories to Penis Enlargement!

Watch the video I've linked to in this post and feel enlightened - then go out of your way to watch them all. They're great and just thought I'd pass on the greatness that is this TV series.

This video is the introduction to the series and gives you an idea of the greatness of Penn & Teller.

The Wild Wild Western World...

It's the afternoon, the sun is slowly beginning its homeward journey to the horizon, and the shadows which had disappeared begin to grow and stretch across the dry dusty landscape. On the main street of town, an outsider waits with his clean shaven skin searing in hot amber sun. He's waiting for the man he has to kill, the man who is from this part of town. The outsider continues to wait.

The sun moves lower in the sky, readying itself for its evening rest, using its daily travel as a way to escape the anxious tension that is building up in this little town. The sun can't run fast enough, the silhouette of a man casually walks across its gaze and blocks the suns view of the outsider, the new shadow stretched across the outsiders face. Like two great giants stood these two men. Their shadows in the dimming light casting images only a fraction the size of their worth.


The faceoff I've described here is much like any western film you may have watched. Two people longing for each others deaths, and the cliched saying "This town ain't big enough for the two of us". Well, this town isn't big enough for the two people in my story... Or is it?

My gripe today is with the trade off many people make between happiness and lifestyle versus professional success and why might people feel that this is a trade off they have to make. This is reflected in the introduction, as often peoples lives aren't big enough for the career they want and the lifestyle they need. It can be a showdown where one bullet, or one decision can lead them on a road with little or no way home.

So why would you chose professional success over lifestyle? There's a simple answer for this. Money. But is that actually the case? In speaking with a friend the other day, I was made aware that its possible to feel trapped into this cycle of professional success and career achievement. In this scenario, people who have been educated from the world's finest universities feel they NEED to have professional success in order to justify their education. For example, if someone who went to Cambridge ended up working in a position which a person from an unknown university could have worked, then their expensive and elite education would have been a waste (to them). So in order to no waste their education, they're happy to - or feel trapped into a cycle of professional success or achievement.

This idea was revolutionary to me - in the past I only thought that money earned was the root for all unhappiness, but apparently money spent (on education) can be equally as troublesome. I applied this understanding of educational pressure to something closer to home for me - High Schools. The more a parent pays for a child's education, the more they expect the child to perform. This places a lot of expectation and pressure on the child and so initiates this system of professional success vs. lifestyle.

So then is it the education which makes them feel the need to succeed or the culture taught by their parents?

This is something which occurs when education has no other purpose than career and financial gain. Which is the opposite of what education should be. Once again this is a lost ideal which will never actually find its place in the real world, but education for the education's sake should be the goal of everyone.

I began my university career with the aims of finishing as soon as possible and beginning in my chosen career path so I could make money. The stress which came from this need to finish, and the reasons for my education made it difficult to study and do well, as always I couldn't see my education as anything more than an enabler to allow me to reach my career. Over the last 6 months though I've had a change of approach to my educuation and it has freed me. I came to the realisation now that everything I have learnt to this moment has made me a better person. Everything I have read, everything my teachers have taught me and everyone who I've surrounded myself with while learning has taught me to be better able to challenge and question the injustices that are occurring, it has taught me to better think for myself and has enabled my own train of thought to evolve. So regardless of why I went to university, and regardless of the outcome, I will come out a better person than I went in, and everything I learn from here till I finish is a continuation of this journey.

When you're learning for yourself and your own betterment instead of your career it becomes much more motivating to learn and a much more rewarding experience. If people who feel trapped in a cycle of justifying their education could apply the same philosophy to their own education and life then perhaps they too could enjoy what they have achieved personally, and not worry so much about what they're not achieving professionally.

Perhaps when education for educations sake is taken into consideration both professional success and a better lifestyle can co-exist in harmony.

I haven't lived enough years to be able to answer this in its entirety, and if I had wisdom above my years I probably wouldn't tell you, as discovering the balance, meaning and reasons in life is something a person has to do on their own. All I know is there is no such thing as a wasted education...

To Blog, or not to Blog...

That is question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?

This is what I have been contemplating over the past month, and the above quote from Shakespeares' Hamlet quite acurately sums up my pondering. Is it nobler to just suffer the idiocy and injustices of the modern world by closing the blog, or to "take arms" as Hamlet said, by voicing my opposition through the blog. Which is the more nobel fight, the more righteous cause. Am I fighting the good fight by trying to point out what I feel is not right in the world, or would a heightened humility do better to serve me, and by association, all you who read this blog.

The seasonal holiday break, intensive studies, and a good dose of humility have led me to think quite thoroughly on this topic. Should I pack up and leave, trusting in providence and the intellect of my readers to come to the conclusions I write about on their own?

In part - no. I obviously trust the ability and understanding of my readers. Otherwise I wouldn't pose such  questions to you, questions which can sometimes be quite confronting. But if I were to close the blog then I would feel that you would be left alone in a wilderness of stupidity, and possibly thinking that you are the only sane person to come to the same conclusions which I write about.

I will therefore be keeping this blog alive. Not only as an outlet for myself, but as a place where you too can have a voice through my words, and through your comments. You can also have a voice by emailing me at the blog email address, noblogtoolong@gmail.com if there is something you would like to see discussed on the blog.

Another apology for not having written to you all lately. The reason which I haven't written anything of late is that my entries have felt more like essays than blog entries, going on for many pages. Its not that I haven't been writing, I just haven't been posting. The issues which I've been tackling in my writing can't be condensed to a 500 word limit (which is really all a blog entry should be), so I'm currently working on a new site format where you will be able read the article you want without being bombarded by the entire entry. Sort of like a news website. You'll see the summary on the main page and chose which article/entry to read.

I hope to have the new site up soon, but my web skills are severely lacking so I wont give you any false hope by offering a time line. I will continue to update the blog every now and then, but most of my time will be dedicated to developing the new website.

Hope you all had a great Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, or what ever other holiday you celebrated over the last couple of months!

I look forward to writing for you all again this year and keep posted... the world is shit and I intend to write about it!