We all know the popular song written by Extreme in 1990, which is a love ballad that effectively say actions speak louder than words. In other words, sleep with me and I'll know you love me, because saying you love me isn't enough. Seems shallow doesn't it - at first you would think this the case. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, perhaps it was simply a charming and beautiful ballad to someones loved one - but the theme of actions speaking louder than words is present... But does that mean that the words being said have no meaning?
Sometimes...
I have a friend who likes to say, "I love you" all the time. Which at first was really special as we had a very close friendship. But then never returning calls or text messages, never making any effort to maintain the friendship, and discovering the wide group of people (i.e. work friends and other randoms) he uses this phrase removed all meaning from the vocal gesture, "I love you". He constantly attempted to affirm what sort of friendship we had, always saying how close we were whilst never attempting to back that up with actions or gestures.
All of a sudden the lyrics of More Than Words made sense and I felt cheated.
What made this situation worse was once I discovered how shallow and meaningless his gesture of loving friendship was, I found it difficult to reciprocate the same response which he expected, "I love you too". Normally this wouldn't be an issue as the affirming response would normally and naturally roll off the lips like a deep bellied exhale, but there was a stammer, and in that involuntary pause he would ask for the response to his plea. This not only made things awkward, but made me responsible of the same crime which I so abhorred.
Now this isn't some homosexual erotic love I'm talking about here, but more the loving or intimate bond which brothers and siblings share for one an other. The love a friend may have their closest inner circle. This was a brotherhood which was once founded upon strong familial emotion, a brotherhood which was now in tatters as the words lost their meaning, and he lost my trust due to the over use of this special, intimate phrase.
Loss of meaning is something which is becoming more and more prevalent in today's society. More and more people are forgetting the power of their words - throwing around phrases like "I love you" and making them meaningless. But why would people do this? In the case of my friend, many of other people who he uses the phrase to have come to me with the conclusion that he is most probably more interested in the response than the emotive force behind his own words. Its a selfish, self serving "I love you", which really explains much about the lack of action to back up the claim...
But even then people aren't necessarily forgetting the power of words, but rather, a new stream of thinking has arisen in today's culture where people don't want to be controlled or defined by the language they use - so rather than changing their behaviour they abuse the language to the point where it no longer has meaning.
This lack in meaning has permeated all facets of modern life and leads to people throwing promises around without the intention of following through with them. One example of broken promises are those by politicians.
"I promise I will do this... I promise I will do that! And because I know everyone holds no value to the word "promise" any more I know I won't be held accountable when I don't live up to my WORD."We have been convinced in the modern era that a promise no longer means someone WILL complete something, but rather they would LIKE to. The word promise no longer evokes a feeling of belief, but one of hope - and to me this just feels wrong.
These morally uplifting examples of love and promise aren't the only types of words which have been sullied by modern expression and meaninglessness. The same goes for the more vulgar or offensive words which we use to express ourselves, and forgive the language when I give examples - cunt, fuck, shit; even words like race/racist/racism, black, retard[ed] - and the list can go on... We take away a words meaning so that it might not have any power over us any more. No longer can a word disgust or anger us - but isn't that ability to be moved and to feel the extent of our emotional range something which is intrinsic to being alive? Shouldn't words used in the context of an insult still hold that meaning so we know to be disgusted? The only purpose this can possibly serve is to desensitise us all to the atrocities, insults and tragedies that language describes.
I believe in the power of words, and language which we use them in, I am not defined by my use of words, but I use these words with full force to define the world in which I live. I allow language to have power over me, not because it controls me, because it evokes the correct rational and emotive responses in me. I am at the mercy of my language, and am passionate about holding words and people accountable to their meaning and worth.
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