Tis the Season... for Change!

Indeed dear readers, it is the season to be jolly, for joy and merryment to be made wild and rampant amongst even the most sour of us. A season in which the joy of giving should outweight the desire to recieve. Shops will close their doors, businness will not trade, and the Christian and Western world will shut down for 24 hours.

In this season, we celebrate the birth of Christ - the Christian savior (and the Islamic Prophet).The gifts we exchange are a symbol of God giving us his only Son, and also represent the gifts offered to him by the three wise men, all those years ago in Bethlehem. Over the last 2000 years Christmas has become less about Christ and more about Cash, so one can understand then how the birth of Christ has become insignificant and replaced by a big fat man in a red and white suit - Santa Claus.

Now many of you by this point might think I have prefaced this entry to be anti-establishment, anti-corporation and anti-Santa Claus. In fact nothing could be further from the truth. I, like most other people enjoy giving and recieving presents. I like Santa and the spirit which he invokes in otherwise heartless shoppers, and I love that for the next month I can get away with wearing a Santa hat in public! No, my grope is not with any of these - its with his Reindeer.

Now, although Reindeer are native to many parts of the the Arctic circle, they are NOT native to the polar regions of the Arctic - which as we all know is where Santa lives. So why does Santa have flying Reindeer then? Did he used to use flying elves, who then formed a union and they had to bring in help from other countries? And who went and got the Reindeer for him in the first place. He may be jolly, but big old Santa clause is just that... big and old. I can't exactly imagine him stalking out the the Reindeer though the Arctic tundra in an effort to find some Reindeer to pull his sleigh. Not to mention that there is a much more suitable, and a much more strong animalmuch closer to home...

Polar Bears

Yes, I am completely aware that this is a fantasy, so using animals native to the Polar region of the Artic isn't nessecarily needed. But can you imagine how AWESOME Santa would be if he had Polar Bears? Not to mention the fear it would instill in the children you tell the story to...

Now you be a good boy this Christmas Timmy or Santa will get his Polar Bears to EAT YOU!!!" (Click "EAT YOU" for an example)

For those of you traditionalists who think its too late to change from Reindeer to Polar Bears, remember this, it wasn't that long ago that Santa Claus wore green instead of red. It was also not that long ago that he was called Saint Nick. Also, consider the potential benifits of the modern era Santa, not only would there be a new appeal to an older audience, but the youth who grow up to stories of Santa and his Polar bears would behave year in and year out! I know I would have been a much more obedient child if Santa's sleigh were pulled by Polar Bears.

Using Polar Bears would also better explain to children how he can make it to every house in just a single evening. Polar bears are bigger and stonger than Reindeer, so they can run faster, which means they should fly faster! I say if its good enough for the White Witch from Narnia (an icey cold, villainous character who used appropriate animals suited to the weather conditions) to use Polar Bears to pull her chariot, then I say its good enough for Santa!

Bring on the Polar Bears this Christmas!

The Death of an Old Friend

Today's entry into the blog is a tribute to the lost arts of the English language, and to hopefully inspire some of you - my readers - to desire a greater understanding of the language you take for granted.

Approximately 400 years ago the unified rules of grammar were laid down in stone for the English language. But as time has passed, the stone upon which they were written has worn away like a great mountain gradually wearing away to an arid plain from a millenia of harsh weather conditions. This departure of detail from the Rosetta Stone of the English language has left us with a withered and worn grasp of our great language. The many of us whom have been left this worthy inheritance can now only use but a fraction of what once gave colour and meaning to the way in which we communicate, our great squandered fortune.

This to me is quite a considerable tragedy, although I think many of you might believe the disappearance of grammar from our school curriculums to be something of a blessing. What many people fail to realise however is that a thorough understanding of the English language is what enables people to have command over those who cannot use it with the same vigour or power. In today's world we are inspired by those we believe to be great orators - we elect them for positions of great power based on their ability to speak rather than the ability to rule. We continue to be inspired by those which history tells us were powerful rhetoricians. Of course there is a great deal more to the people who inspire us than their ability to speak or write, but without these key essential abilities and a thorough grasp of the language, these people would not have been placed into a position where they could have affected and touched so many lives.

Granted, some rules in English should never have been, many of the founders of the English grammar system believed that Latin (although one of the most beautiful languages) grammar should be directly applied to English. This was never going to be a good idea as Latin and English are two different languages. Thankfully we are now at a point in time where we can appreciate each language for their separate characteristics rather than trying to superimpose one upon the other. Being at this point in time does not however give people the right to start butchering the language due to laziness.

Unfortunately laziness is not the absolute culprit when it comes to the corruption of the language. The system in which it is meant to be taught has been the major contributing factor towards its devastation for more than 30 years now. Schools have had little to no importance on the teaching of English. There has also been a greater importance on learning Japanese and Chinese in schools than Latin or any other romance language (French, Italian and Spanish). Geographically learning Asian languages makes perfect sense, however English shares so many grammatical traits with the romance languages that even a basic understanding of any would ensure a powerful grasp of English. Germanic languages also share many traits with English as it has been one of its main influences over the past thousand years.

I am part of the generation that has been forced to find these things for themselves. I have been inspired by great orators and lecturers to find out why they were so influential. It wasn't just their passion, but their understanding which led me to feel uplifted by their teachings.

Ignorance breeds ignorance, the troubling thing is that ignorance of our language's intricacies permeates every part of our lives. Everything we see, do and think is influenced by what we read, say and listen to. If you think that the rules or grammar have no meaning, or if you believe its pointless to understand what a trope or a figure is. Then I urge you to look to the writings and speeches of Obama, JFK, Martin Luther King Jr, Churchill and realise that these people changed the world, not just with actions but with the spoken and written word. They used these tools to make a difference, just as you too can make a difference by understanding them and using them for good.

Become uplifted. Become aware. Become powerful in your use of English - and then you too can inspire those around you.

I'm a capitalist whore.

That's right everyone. Just like when the great punk band The Offspring recorded Pretty Fly for a White Guy in 1998, or when Paris stopped being a city - I too have joined the legion of those who have come before me. I have become a consumerist, capitalist, commercial whore.

If you look under a couple of my blog entries, or to the right banner of my blog you will now see that you are bombarded by advertisements from Google. So yeah, my blog is now a sell out commercial capitalist whore. But for a good cause. I promise to donate any earnings from the blog to stop Climate Change! HAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!

No, not at all, NEVER! Those money hungry new age hippy Greenies can get their funding for a new pair of Eco friendly earmuffs made from alpaca dung from some other sucker!!

No, my money - if these ads ever generate it (which I sincerely doubt) - will go towards funding for a new domain name and upgraded website, with galleries, links pages, and all other great web related tools!

That's right my fellow readers - all 2 of you... with your clicks, and just by viewing the adds, hopefully this website will take on a whole new terrific (and possibly horrific) form! No more ".blogspot" (which I'm continually typing "bogsplot") - I'm taking this blog to the broader interweb!

Anyway - just thought I would tell you all I'm a sell out corporate whore before you all noticed for yourselves and thought "What the...?!" So don't think that I'm completely abandoning my quest for politically incorrect argument and jest because I have become a sell out - no. I'm just using the corporation to enable me to bring my angry rants (or what I like to think of as "not so common sense") to the wider Internet community!

Although the really depressing thing is that the advertisements are selected to reflect the topic of my posts. On one side you have me ranting and raving AGAINST fat loss websites, advertisements and products - then on the other side you have advertisements FOR these horrible conglomerate money makers... Yes... I realise the irony, and it makes me feel dirty... The interesting thing is though - while I'm promoting these bastards on my blog, I'm also using them to fund my public disapproval of them! Which to me is a blessing in disguise!!!

So click on the links! Click them with passion and gusto! Tell your friends to click on them! Because the more you click, the more you view the sooner I can rubbish the companies that are being promoted to a wider audience!

I'm a sell out - with a cause... WATCH OUT!!!

We're all fat and worthless!

At least thats what television and the internet would have us believing. Apparently we're all obese and need perfect abdominal muscles in order to be healthy and happy. Of course according to these oracles of information the only way to become healthy and happy is to purchase their new wonder drug or new machine which will give you ROCK HARD ABS in days! Now the real question is, do we believe the companies who invent the "Ab Swing" and other such "inventions" (term being used losely here) are really just caring for the health of those in the wider community? [insert sarcasm here] Ya know what? I believe they are - why else would they be working so hard to make God knows how many exercise tools for us to buy for 11 easy payments of $29.99! [end sarcasm]


The most depressing thing about this situation is that people actually buy this crap! You would be better off taking the tensing electrodes off your abs and put them on your temples in the hope the electric shock may help you to wake up!!!



But that doesn't happen as the all fashionable media tells you that you need to spend money on your appearance cos ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH... Complete tosh... Yep - without a market these companies would stop creating all this junk - so that means that they actually make money off the gullible TV viewer.

So we know there is a market - the real question is why aren't health organisations like the Heart Foundation and other such groups that have the sole purpose of promoting a healthy lifestyle tapping into this rich resource? What I would love to see is the same aggressive advertising campaigns promoting walking...

Hi Lydia, what are you here to tell us about today?"
"Well Rob (they're always called Rob?!), I'm here to tell you about a sure fire way to get healthy rock hard abdominal muscles the easy way! Its called walking!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way Rob! Walking at a brisk pace for 10 or 20 minutes a day will greatly reduce your risk of heart disease and also have you looking great in NO TIME AT ALL!"
"Lydia, that seems too good to be true"
"I know Rob, but wait - there's more!! If you go for a walk today, you'll not only be extending your life expectancy, but we'll let you take a friend and help them live longer too!!!"

Now - walking is easy - odds are you've been doing it longer than you've been using a toilet to poop, its been around since homo became erectus, and it doesn't cost a cent! But I think that may be half the issue. Maybe its too cheap...

For the better part of the last millenia, there has been a strange obsession with money and how if something is cheap/free, it must not be any good. This rationality tied with vanity and it makes sense that people are more happy to put a dollar value on their appearance than actually put in some old fashioned hard work.

You need to spend money to look good - and so if you look good and haven't spend money you haven't gotten your moneys worth?!?

So maybe that's why there is such a strong market out there for Ab machines. They cost money, so they must work! Of course the question isn't about if they work or not, but if you don't have the time to walk - how will you make the time to Abswing?!

People every day pay personal trainers to take them in a group (yes, I realise the irony in that statement) to a park to exercise. Nothing wrong with that - with the exception that you could have alternatively exercised in the same park for free. A quick google will bring up hundreds (if not thousands) of websites that have plenty of information on exercises you can do to get in shape, and they're a free resource also.

Perhaps the local councils should just charge people to walk in parks. Perhaps then more people would take advantage of the facilities which have been available for them and feel as though they're getting their money's worth. But I think the important thing to know is, these machines will not make you have rock hard abs just by buying them. Get out and do some walking, jogging, swimming - they're all free and fun. Once you can see yourself setting time aside each day for the betterment of your health - then by all means buy some equipment to help aid you in your search for a healthier life.

And turn off the God damned TV/computer!! Its why you're so fat in the first place!

P.S. Just kidding... ;^)

P.P.S. Thanks to Ginny for sparking the blog entry off!! Thanks!

I'm not an angry person! Am I?

Sometimes I sit back and read all the entries I've made to my blog, and I think to myself that maybe I should be on some form of behavioural modifying drugs. Most of my blog entires seem to be a little heavy, and perhaps at times just down right angry. Some of you out there in internet land may possibly be worried for my safety, or perhaps the safety of kittens everywhere after reading the below entries. But I assure you - I'm not an angry person - I just dont like stupid people.

At times I feel like Peter Griffin from Family Guy and often think that the blog isn't actually "Me and then some", but rather an extention of that particular episode...

What really grinds my gears this week is...

... the news.
... war.
... facebook (ongoing battle).

Maybe I am an angry person, in which case "Me and then some" is an apt name for the blog. I'm beginning to think as a write that the more likely answer is that I only blog to vent. When I'm happy - I don't feel the need to complain to you - my audience. Just the same way people on facebook usually only do a "status update" when they're upset and want the faceless internet to give them sympathy. Am I saying that I want your sympathy or assurance? I can't rule out the possibility (however I would like to think thats not a motive) - afterall, I do leave the options to post a comment, subscribe to my blog vis RSS feeds, become a "follower". Is what I'm doing all that different from the faux social site which I have admonished repetitively throughout the blog.

I think so...

The difference between me posting on my blog and a pointless attempt for your sympathies on facebook is that I actually tell you whats pissing me off. There is no subversive inuendo or passive agressiveness portrayed in my entries. If I don't like something. I get out there and articulate it in more than a 25 word entry on a website aimed at taking advantage of peoples voyeristic nature. I want you on the other side of this moniter to be active in my blog, but not to boost my own self esteem or to make me feel justified in my opinions as I wouldn't be writing them if I needed other peoples approval. I want people to read my blog, I want people to become enraged at the things that enrage me, and laugh at the things that make me laugh. My blog is my way of sharing my passion with you all out there.

Am I angry... I don't think so. My blog just happens to be there when something pisses me off. Its like going to bed when you're tired. Your bed only sees you when you're sleepy (or horny), but that doesn't mean you sleep all the time. It just happens to be the place you go when you need to partake in that type of activity.

No, I'm not angry. I am just alive, and real. This is me, and then some...