Leaves of Autumn...

This year the leaves aren't falling. Usually by the last days of March the trees have decided that it is once again that time of year to rid themselves of their summer coat. But not this year. The leaves are not browning, and the sun is still burning on. It seems that even the birds are unaware that the darker months are coming on, as they sit on my fence chirping and playing in the glare of the midday sun.

This leaves me feeling a little out of place, as I'm always aware of the weather and the changes around me at the end of March, because just like the trees coming to the end of their summer cycle, my life comes to the closing of another year.

In one days time another year will have passed from the last celebration of my birth, but I don't feel the difference as in one day, I will only be one day older. I don't feel older than last year, but I do feel the years slipping into my past as a dream fades out of memory in first few moments of awakening.

Awakening... That's how autumn feels to me. The leaves aren't dying, the trees are just releasing them to see the day more clearly - as though storm clouds were parting to reveal the sun in the sky. Their leaves turn brown as my hairs grow greyer, their leaves fall to the ground as my hairline falls further and further away from where it once was, and as another ring grows across the trunk of the great trees, another wrinkle is etched across my ageing face.

I am the epitome of an autumn baby.

I don't mind growing old - there's a certain dignity and grace that can be found in accepting the inevitable. It's just waiting for the leaves to fall that makes me sad...